How To Be A Bad Team Mate

Not too long ago, I joined an Ultimate Frisbee team. It all was going quite well until I noticed that this one member was just being constantly rediculous. Last practise I was actually able to keep track of all of his "bad team mate like" actions. Which lead me to write this five step tutorial on How To Be A Bad Team Mate. If you are wondering whether you are a bad team mate or if you wish to become one, I strongly suggest you keep on reading.

How To Be a Bad Team Mate

1. Show up late for practice. Make sure you show up at least 10 mintutes late for every practise in order to properly be fashionably late. You have to make sure everyone knows you have arrived. Oh, and don't even worry about missing the warm up. You are the best player, you were born ready. Warm ups are for the weak anyways.

2. Don't let anyone touch the ball besides yourself. (Frisbee, puck, birdy etc, whatever applies to your sport) You have already given your team a good amount of time to practice from Step 1, but now that you are here it's time for you to shine. You can obviously handle the ball all by yourself, the team is relying on you to carry them on. Why should the team even try to use the ball when your doing all the work?

3. Don't offer assistance to anyone, especially when they ask for it. If some one hasn't already learned how to do a skill just by watching you, you should question why they are even on the team in the first place.

4. Talk over top of everyone, but mostly the coaches. You must save your voice to talk over only when you feel it is completely necessary. Like when the coaches are talking. When the coaches are explaining a rule, just interrupt them. Anyone who comes to practise should know how to play the sport. No one actually comes to practise to learn and listen to the coaches.

5. Trash talk your own team INFRONT OF THEM. You have to face the truth eventually, you do have team mates and they will make mistakes. Don't waste your time bashing the other team but instead put down your own team to their faces. They need to hear what they are doing wrong. The best results occur when done in an embarrassing setting in order to make sure they won't make the same mistake again. It would only make sence for them to hear it from you, not from any coaches, because you are the team mate who is perfect and will never make any mistakes.

I hope you all enjoyed my tutorial on How To Be A Bad Team Mate, I would LOVE to hear any other way of how you or any if your own teammates are bad team mates. 

Also, any constructive critisism, helpful advice or future blog suggestions are totally welcome.

Xoxo

-Corella